The short CD of music at mom's memorial service

I was disappointed in that none of the aides from Caring Hands made it
to the little meeting, as it wasn't much of a memorial service as it was
just friends and family gathering to talk. I was kinda disappointed it
wasn't something more formal and organized where people got up to speak
about my mom, hopefully to recall important moments and such.

I put together a short CD of music and for those who are curious as to
what was on it, and for those who missed it, consisted of:

Track 2 "Dea Cantat The Goddess Sings" and Track 24 "Coro Di Dea The
Goddesses Singing Voices" from the Oh My Goddess Movie soundtrack CD. I
considered addding Track 27 "The song of an angel", but the 3rd track
was "Will you be there" by Michael Jackson.

This is too much grief for me to handle. I miss my mom, and I still find
myself sobbing. My mom deserved a better memorial service, but before
that she should not have had to die. It's probably the guilt of this
whole thing that I will have with me for some time. If I knew what my
future would have for me, I could move on easily. I don't know so I'm
having a very hard time dealing with this. I'm scared.

I noticed very few (read: none) of the sympathy cards were addressed to
me. I'm thankful that Sandy, one of mom's aides on alternate Saturdays,
did send one directly to the house addressed to me when I told her in
email.

I partly expected (for some reason known only to me) some show of
support and maybe money. Don't ask me why, I really shouldn't expect
that. I just hope I can get that kind of help pretty soon.

I'm still in the mindset and mode that mom's just in the hospital for a
while and should be coming home soon. But I also know she's not coming
home. I want her to come home.

I need to get married. I need someone else out here, someone to take
care of. I don't want to be alone.

I must stop typing here otherwise I'll not get it sent.