Lost sleep = more done?

Been working on getting my mother's Dell up and working and think I
finally got an updated stable install with what I thought I wanted on
there but had to reconsider. Like I wanted to put back on it Norton
Internet Security 2004 and the associated Antivirus (you can't just have
one) but it kept conflicting with AVG Free, so out went Norton with its
removal utility. Then an attempt to put in a free Personal Firewall met
with no success after removing it (incomplete install anyway) and I
don't know why I didn't go with Comodo's free firewall because I've used
it on friends' computers with much success. Which is what I ended up
doing.

With the problems, I kept getting Stop Errors which never happened on my
mother's computer, or at least extremely rarely. Now I know it's
possibly from conflicting resources or drivers.

And Windows Updates help a lot, too. I also found out there was a new
video driver for the motherboard, as well as a 2007 updated driver for
the network controller!! That made me mad I didn't know about checking
that sooner. Maybe it won't drop Road Runner like it used to.

Mom's computer back on the web

Though I kinda miss seeing my slow P4 on the web, I may figure out what
I need to put them both on the DSL modem (an ethernet hub / switch of
some sort). I don't want to have to keep switching the cable back and
forth.

Anywho, I kinda got Norton Internet Security back on her system as it
came installed with it when she first got the Dell. But the thing is
there was no install CD or product key given for Norton AV 2004, and I
didn't think to see what it was before the original hard drive decided
to act up. It's one of those Trialware thingies, and so far I have been
unable to obtain a working product key, and I tried searching the
exported registry file but don't know where it would be. But the Green
ball for NIS 2004 is there again, so at least it looks OK. But I still
put AVG Free 9.0 and Spybot S&D back in.

Just a few more thingies to download and install, like Java.

What's interesting to me is at one point the system developed an odd
shutdown stop error, but after applying 56 updates, that problem was
fixed! I remember one December when I kept getting the message that
Windows just recovered from a serious error, and after updating, the
message stopped appearing. Updates do fix system problems.

But still, in the end, I ended up sobbing in front of the computer
because Mom's not here to benefit from my work getting her system back
up and running again. She's not here to impress anymore, so now my
achievements don't feel they way they should. There's a big void I feel
because of the stuff I had on there. I will try to see if her original
HD still works. I wonder if the jumper for the drive went bad or
something. I wonder where I can get those.

I need to get a new CD burner for her system though, so I can put Record
Now! and InfraRecorder back on it. I'm sure the original burner was bad
from the moment we got it since it did nothing but act up a lot. It
would do things like flash the LED constantly and not respond, or its
drive letter would disappear from My Computer, or if you tried to use it
after the computer was on for about an hour it would cause problems. At
first it was great, but after having it around a while, you learned of
its cantankerous nature.

So her system now has 1G RAM, fast 80Gig hard drive, reinstalled
drivers. It just needs the burner, and I have no idea how to pick a good
CD burner. Why not a DVD burner? I just don't need one on there at the
moment. I have another system for that.

I hope I can find all her install CDs for the games she put on it.

Dammit, Mom. I'm taking good care of your computer. I try to convince
myself that you're going to be coming back at some point otherwise I
feel I'm just going to lose it.

Pics off my mobile

From December when we went to raid at our friend's request his storage locker.

Akron's erection

Grr... Slow install

I don't know what the problem is. In a way, the new hard drive sorta acted like the old one, but it did format under XP Setup. The problem now is that the copying of files from the install CD to the hard drive is taking way too long. Already I had one prompt of some file that didn't copy and had to retry. Maybe the CD ROM drive is wanting to act up? We've always had a problem with it. I think I have the one that came out of the Win98 box. All I know is that it shouldn't take this long to copy XP setup files to the hard drive. I really do not know what's going on, if a setting in the BIOS got changed somehow or something went bad on the motherboard. GRRR....

Additional: I pulled the HD out and set the jumper to Master. I also grabbed my new Toshiba Super WriteMaster DVD burner and installed that and am using it in place of the CD burner. Setup is going much faster!

OMG! It booted and is continuing the install!!!

Checking more in Mom's 'puter

I get her system upstairs to begin putting in the new hard drive, an
80Gig Seagate Barracuda. Brand new. After I figured out once again how
to get the case open, the next step was getting the HD out.

It was mounted in a bracket that attached to the case by one screw in
front of the drive on the inside and one on the outside. I can't explain
well with just words, but once I had those 2 important screws out, the
HD came out in the bracket really easy. Then I see a buncha dust.

It might not have killed the drive, but that much dust behind the front
plastic face isn't good, but it at least shows where the dust has gone
since there's not a whole lot inside the case.

I also don't like how the HD is mounted. It's inside the front, standing
up on end. I like my drives horizontal. I don't think I'll be able to
remount the Seagate this way, since the Western Digital blocked a lot of
dust coming into the case when it was vertical.

Also the drive is set to Cable Select, and the way it's in there, the HD
ribbon cable is currently set up for only 1 hard drive. No provision
made for a 2nd without getting another bracket and a new cable. I find
it odd that it wasn't set to Master.

I managed to pop off the front of the case and saw a crapload of dust.
It's never been popped off and vacuumed out before. At least there was
some air flow in spite of this.

So my plan of attack is to vacuum the dust and then install the Seagate.
I might have time tomorrow to work on reinstalling Windows XP. I don't
know if I should partition the drive like I did for one lady.

I would imagine that if I ever wanted to work on Mom's Dell again, it
would mean a 2nd hard drive and / or a 2nd monitor card, or maybe a new
CD Burner. I dunno. I don't see a second AGP in there, but maybe there
are PCI monitor cards? I haven't looked.

Canadians are Awesome!

"I managed to find (and score) another mint, unopened copy of Danger
Mouse: the Complete Series. If you still want it (and haven't found a
copy yet), send me your mailing address via e-mail and I'll send it to
you."

Oh my God! Are you kidding? WebTV's service cleared up just in time for
me to see this and reply to this awesome person in just hours after this
went up.

I knew this day would come but not so soon...

Today I was wanting to check out a few things on the web with Mom's
Dell, and so with WebTV being stubborn and slow for some reason, I go to
switch on the Dell.

It gets to the XP bootup screen and no further action from the hard
drive. Oh great. What's wrong now?? Why now???

I ran a memory test and it was OK. Numerous hard drive tests say the
drive is OK. I try FIXMBR and FIXBOOT, but it won't get past the XP logo
and the animated bar.

So I try the reinstall CD again. I try to get it to repair the current
installation. It takes a look, deletes some files, meaning I'll need to
reapply SP3, and it's taking forever to copy files back onto the hard
drive.

I don't know if the hard drive is actually bad or what. I have another
40G Seagate ready to put in if it comes to that. I'm glad I did a little
backup and exporting of the registry not too long ago to external
drives.

I don't know what's wrong and I don't know what it will cost to fix it.
I can put in a hard drive no problem. I knew this was going to happen
eventually, but after 3 days of not being used? Maybe mom was doing the
right thing in using it every day.

EDIT: Additional: The HD was doing this heavy vibration through the process of trying to copy Windows setup files to the drive. I eventually got the whole process to stop and the drive never booted. I ended up ordering a new Seagate Barracuda 80G drive off NewEgg, and then went for a DVD burner for the other P4.

Hoping to get counseling soon

It's really hard for me since October to go shopping for foodstuffs.
When I go to Aldi's, I pass by all the items Mom had me get in the past,
and every time I see them and not buy them I get so sad and depressed.
Every time I go shopping I think about what I'm not getting and I feel
so empty. It's a feeling I'd rather not have but I can't help it. It's
like I have no business or purpose in being there. It's just me that I'm
getting stuff for, and even then I don't freaking know what I'm going to
get aside from a short list of the same stuff I'd be there to get.

I really miss shopping for stuff with a list Mom made out. I hate how it
makes me feel anymore. I want her here so I have a reason to be at the
store.

A couple of nights ago I had a problem falling asleep. I realized I
don't know why my mom let herself go. I'd like to know what was going on
that day as she got back in bed. I don't remember her making any noises
or what. I feel guilty in that I didn't pay more attention. I wonder
what I missed. But my main problem is that I have questions, mainly
beginning with the word Why and I don't have the answers and it bugs me.

I laid there for a while and wondered all these whys I had and began
crying. I really want some answers and the one person who could answer
them isn't here to give them to me. I think some of those questions
partly blame my mom like Why did she let it happen? What was she trying
to do?

I think back to that day and the image of her in bed.

Why kids get fat nowadays

It pisses me off when I see some parent let their kid ride in the shopping cart. This is not smart nor safe! Get that kid to walk its fat ass around for once!

Anxiety

So it's going to cost me $170.40 to fix the brake fluid problem on the car. Rear cylinders were leaking and other parts needing replacement.

I got this letter about my "Ticket to Work" and things it was telling me. I don't understand it. I'm scared that I will end up broke and homeless. Maybe I should never have gone that direction.

At least starting in February, I don't have to worry about seeing a doctor and getting charged for an out of pocket cost.

Been doing some cleaning

One area in my room near my door had been annoying me for a while and I
decided while running off some stuff to go through bit by bit and see
what garbage to get rid of. But I found some treasures as well.

I found a good set of earbud thingies for the one MP3 player I got that
didn't have any.

I found the missing issues of The 2600 Connection newsletter that I
didn't know where they were.

I found my Mamotte Shugogetten Courier Bag I collected one year at Anime
North.

A few other various bits of anime goodies I should file somewhere else
more safely. Like the poster tube with my Tokyo Mew Mew posters that
were actually calendar pages.

I gave my GOR books a new box as the one they were in split open when I
tossed it out into the hall. Quite a few bags of crap that just need
collectively garbage bagged and hauled out and I would prefer burned,
but hey whatever.

Why I don't try DDR in public

Tonight I found out how badly I play DDR on the PS2. Let me clarify. I
suck on it standing up.

Back on Black Friday, Big Lots was offering this DDR set for the PS2.
Thing is the only Big Lots I stumbled into that day (and completed my
set of Shuffle!) didn't have any left. A couple of weeks ago, another
Big Lots I was in had some in stock somehow. So I bought one. "Over 70
songs!" Yeah right. I'm disappointed in that Butterfly, Mr. Wonderful,
and one other favorite isn't on the edition I bought.

I figure the "dance mat" controller is too small or my feet are too big
or some combination of that plus the mat still having folds in it from
being in the box makes for a situation where I don't know where the down
arrow spot should be and I miss it and otherwise inputs the wrong
signals because it's being triggered wrong and at wrong times. I don't
know how solid the floor is here, so I'm afraid to have to jump up to
make the 2-footed moves. I need lots of practice or I just don't have
the coordination.

I do know the mat works just fine. I basically had to sit down with the
down arrow inches from my crotch, legs wide (and uncomfortable for my
knees to be in this position for long), and look up at the screen to hit
the spots with my hands. I did pretty well that way.

I figure there's some PS2 controller or compatible at least that will
let me press 2 directional buttons at the same time. I wouldn't mind a
smaller hand held version of the "dance mat" controller for those of us
too timid to make a fool of ourselves playing DDR.

There's a Workout mode as well. I had plenty of a workout just on
Beginner mode sitting down!

It's a shame the Pop 'n Music games haven't yet been brought over. I
love those.

New Year's Day and saurkraut

Well, here it is. The first day of the new year. Back in July, if I
remember right, Mom had my younger sister buy some saurkraut at the
Algonquin Mill festival. It's hand made and very good. Mom handed her a
$20 bill and 8 containers came back, if I remember right. Usually she
just has her buy 4, which is more than plenty.

Yesterday around 9 am, I put in 2 of the containers and a pork loin in
the Crock pot, along with most of a can of applesauce. Of course, I just
left it alone and it cooked all day until Midnight. In the last hour or
so, I boiled some potatoes to make mashed, and put in some Cheddar
bratwurst to cook in the crock pot because I happen to like Cheddar
bratwurst.

It turned out as Mom liked it. Not too sour or salty. The right balance
of flavors. Even reheated today, it's good.

It's not fair she's not here to enjoy the saurkraut she bought. She ate
most of that whenever it got made anyway. But I didn't peel the potatoes
for the mashed part, and that would have annoyed her. The best and most
nutritious part of the potato is the peel, darn it!

I miss her nagging me about stuff. I probably have a lot of guilt that I
have to deal with.