getting counseling. I'm afraid of the future, though. I had hoped to be
working or something by now.
I saw mom's caseworker for Caring Hands about a week or so ago. She
asked me how I was getting along, and I told her. I have good days and
bad days. The bad days are when I wake up completely tired even though I
had enough sleep. I sit in front of the TV and get very little done. I
usually fall asleep. I get sad and I cry. I lose entire days because of
Mom not being here right now. I ask Melody when mom's coming back. I do
that from time to time, tell myself Mom's coming back- she's just in the
hospital.
The phone is largely quiet. Very few phone calls for my mom in some form
or another. I still need to call back the Neurocare center and tell them
what they need to know. I'm sure they noticed she missed her appointment
last November.
I want to hear her call for "Coffee, please!" when she wakes up after
dealing with her morning medications. To move her mattress back over. To
bitch her out over spending money she doesn't have. Take her to her
appointments. That responsbility fell to me at some point.
I've been trying to get in touch with a girl (now a young woman at this
point) I used to spend time with some years ago. I found her online, but
she's trying very hard not to get in touch with me. I don't know what I
did years ago other than being a complete idiot. I want to re-establish
a friendship that for some reason just fizzled. I really liked her then,
I find I still do now. I just didn't realize it and was lacking the
skills to show it, I guess.
That would brighten my day if I could talk to her again. She gave me her
phone number(s) and I don't know why I didn't call. I should have. After
some point, like after mom got laid off, things just got f_ing crazy
around here.
Liz, whatever it was I did or didn't do, I'm sorry and please call me.
I'm easy to find!!! I can prove I know you with stuff you should know
and is not posted online!
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