Thankful for therapy

I am glad to be getting help for dealing with things since October. I have been in so much pain since then that I couldn't have handled it myself. I don't know how anyone else handles what I've had to go through. Mom didn't do this when her mom, my grandmother (one of them), passed away in August 2000. Instead of dealing with it, Mom just turned to her doctor Anne K., and instead of referring her to counseling just went and prescribed her Paxil. This was a bad idea. Mom had been in the care of a Dr. Beshara (sp) for years until she began working in 1991 due to stupid changes in public assistance rules.

What Anne K probably didn't know was mom had a nervous breakdown in 1979 or 1980. She was in the hospital for a while. My sisters and I had to live with my grandparents. I barely remember that time.

I don't want to have the same problems she had. I've had some dark times since June 2007. I just want to be able to do what I know. I know computers, I don't know about people. I wish I knew more about women, at least enough to get one to marry and live with me.

My mom accomplished some things in her life. She had an X-Ray Technician certificate, but I don't understand why she didn't get a job as one. She also got an Associate in Medical Laboratory Technology, which meant she knew how to run all those tests in medical labs in hospitals. It's a shame she was unable to get a job doing that like she always wanted.

She did work in plastics plants though. Our Christmas of 1982 was pretty good because she went to work for one place in East Canton that had its workers on strike.

She ended up getting another plastics factory job in 1991 after going out for a temp agency, working at another place that ended up hiring her, where she worked until she was laid off, then after working sporadically until the end of 2001, after which she was injured on the job and was unable to work after that.

She lost weight in the 1970s only to gain it back during 2002-2003 by going out to buy ice cream for some reason. And not the cheap stuff, but the expensive stuff with loads of fat. She had a problem buying the wrong things, and it reared its ugly head during 2001.

She quit smoking in 1997 or 1998. She had smoked all the time I knew my mom, and for her to be able to stop showed her determination when it came to setting a goal and achieving it. Soon after that, she saved enough money to buy the big screen TV we have now.

There are some good things, but because she was a huge part of life and I was right in front of it all, I have taken things quite hard. And I definitely need help.