straight due to shock over my mom. I don't know how I managed to survive
but here it is a year later.
I'm still having to untangle her business from online and all. One
company sent an amount to a collection agency claiming she "defaulted"
on some amount and they got told what the others have been told. I think
more of those individual letters will be coming at some point. Her
credit card is taking back the amounts she spent and now these separate
companies will want their money. Too bad, there's nothing.
I'm still in shock. I keep waiting for her to come home. I ask our dog
when mom's coming home. I still say in the morning "Coffee please" like
she would. I ask her what she wants for breakfast, and figure pancakes
or waffles or oatmeal or whatever. I ask her what she wants for supper.
I have her light set on a timer as to when she'd take a nap after
showering and it comes on in the evening when she'd get up to use the
toilet and take medications, and it turns on in the morning when she'd
awake to take her meds then, too.
I still have one more place to call to tell them to remove her from
their list. I have like 8 or 10 letters to write to tell them to stop
sending catalogs. I'm glad the BETUS people finally stopped sending
crap.
I have utilities in my name now. Taking her name off was the hardest
thing I faced. Traces of my mom disappearing from stuff. Her name is
still on a few bills that don't matter though.
I miss taking her to appointments. I worry about the future. I hope I
get some good guidance in setting up my own computer service business.
Trying to get hired as an entry level IT hasn't gone well. The BVR
people I've worked with have been good but even they have limits to what
they can do. (Should I pull back my Ticket to Work thing?) I think it's
due to my resume which lists jobs I've had over the years, and perhaps
the lack of actually working in the field puts off people even though I
am qualified. I'm sorry, but at the time I needed a job, I took what I
could get. Working with computers has been a dream since high school.
It's just that my circumstances and my Asperger's didn't let that happen
as most people would expect. I did some things at various jobs that let
me demonstrate my skills with computers. That should count for
something! My 10.5 years at the restaurant should at least show loyalty
to staying in one place. That's a problem I had with an interview years
ago. The guy who spoke to me then with my sparse resume said he couldn't
see me staying with them for more than 6 months. My friend who
recommended me for the interview said they ended up hiring one guy who
didn't know anything about computers, was studying them in college, and
quit after 3 months.
Having my own business means I can be nice to me. I can work the hours
and days I want. Nobody can fire me. And I have to work on my skills in
dealing with people. At least I don't have to call people up - they'd be
calling me.
I understand computers a lot better. That job at the grocery store was
hell. I want a job working on computers. I do NOT want to go back to
anything with foodservice or retail.
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